May 01, 2008 9:20 AM  (go back to main view)
I've Been Wanting To Tell This For So Long...
And now that I'll be heading out in-- oh, 28 hours or so (if the counting-on-my-fingers was correct!)

What started with this image as its genesis:
"How is it I tie this damn cravat again?"
Not the siiiiick-ass "Family Portrait" series snapped by Nhat Nguyen,

Bitch, PLEASE: You KNOW You Know
Bitch, PLEASE: You KNOW You Know
What I mean...

The secret lies herein:
Those were but an after-thought

(Though a high-larious one rife with hyperbole, I Full & Openly Admit)

The moments preceding this "terrible triumvirate's" free-for-all?

Splinters in time so exciting, they've been buried between the layers of my skin
An untold story carried around

Till now—

but then

Sculptor and photographer glenn kaino took a 'Big Shot' Polaroid in hand
and fired off solos:

a crisp snapping,
flashbulbs
going
P O P

Anybody Up For The
Anybody Up For The "Big Shot Shuffle"?

Perhaps you've heard of a guy known by the moniker 'Andy Warhol'?
(Not that I, Clint Catalyst, would advocate one changing his birth name...)

Well, he was particularly fond of this model and make.
So much so, in fact, that some of his subjects outlived their proverbial "15 [NOPE, CAN'T EVEN SAY IT]":

Hard-Backed and Perfect-Bound
Hard-Backed and Perfect-Bound
This World Wide Waste of Time? Sure, the sense of immediacy is somewhat magic, gratifying.

But I'm a big fan of printed matter. I can hold it in my lap, hear the crack of the spine, smell each flip of the pages:

Unlike a URL, it has a life of its own that I don't feel is fleeting—here today, gone...

Well,
tomorrow
is when I'm bound

to board a plane.

My destination Pittsburgh,
I'm hoping to also feel more than just that [OVER-REFERENCED INCREMENT OF TIME].

glenn kaino's retrospective show is opening, and apparently
I'm going to be in it. Not just at it

Though attending any commencement ceremony of his work would be sublime,
the sensory details on a personal level are exponentially magnified by the, uh,
overwhelming detail that


Pinned and mounted on the wall, a fragment of my soul

Paralleled with ______________ of Warhol's subjects?

Not a fascimilie. Not
a reproduction,
but the actual Polaroid
itself.

(no. nope. nein: haven't the foggiest yet)

Paired with one
of kaino's
Polaroids:
My history mingling
with his?/hers?

...pronouns up for grabs...

The prospect itself was almost too much for me to believe, not "as if it were a dream"—more like a story I'd concocted, cast myself a protagonist.

I mean, this geographical region in which I reside that seems less a city than a propped-up movie set? A lesson I've learned too many times the hardest way:

talk is
talk
is subjective

//

until this

Reportage from a Third-Party Source: artdaily.org
Reportage from a Third-Party Source: artdaily.org
nestled its way into my In-Box,
the text

With My Name In The Line-Up (See
With My Name In The Line-Up (See "Uberstars," Third Paragraph)
Sent me into a frenzy: neurons firing off reassurance

"See? It's
happening.
It's real."

Oh, and the sample of my own work to familiarize the viewer with
whom I am and [OPTION FOR QUOTATION MARKS YOUR OWN] What I Do?

I Stood Before A Camera.  I've Seen A Still.
I Stood Before A Camera. I've Seen A Still.
(and still
am pained by the Vaseline-sheen
nervousness masked my face with):

But when and if I'm there and recognize the abrasive drawl I've come to terms with
as my own?

Well, this skeptic would be an eyelash short of 'elated'—until

THAT moment of "truth," however

here's this

Shot Of Me Sportin' A Fresh New 'Fro, With My Home Grill Stevie Ryan
Shot Of Me Sportin' A Fresh New 'Fro, With My Home Grill Stevie Ryan
—the black and silver strands
my nod to
Mssr. Warhol

and

Since Lil' Kim Herself Gets Her Hair Did Up At 'the HAIRROIN'
Since Lil' Kim Herself Gets Her Hair Did Up At 'the HAIRROIN'
I might as well quote Miss Thing
and drag-and-drop
"another one/and another one/
and another one..."


So for any of y'all
in or around PITTSBURGH this Saturday,
7 p.m.?

Head on over to Sandusky Street and
give us a holler!

('Us' equals Dirk Mai a.k.a.
Fingers Crossed,
Linda Strawberry and
'The Kitch.')

CAN'T MAKE IT SATURDAY, BUT
STILL WANNA SPOT-CHECK?

May 3 - August 31
2008

is the span in which kaino's treasures
will be housed: an installation
scattered amidst four floors

graft (salmon)
graft (salmon)

graft (pig)
graft (pig)
and my personal fave:

A Plank for Every Pirate
A Plank for Every Pirate

with the ticking of the clock, I
continue to walk—

Yours Until
Yours,

Love

a reallyfuckingrateful Clint



Post Script: "Sleep Deprivation?"
Could I Have A Definition, Please?


Props in order—
for 'Blue Washington,' hair by Irene Urias (HAIRROIN)
Make-Up by Stacey Hummell

for the new 'do?
Cut/Color/(s)Extensions by Luis Salines (HAIRROIN)

Related Posts:
Blog Comments (16)
Posted by •VJESCI• on May 14, 2008 6:45 PM
.now I have NEVER been one for (p)irates.

.not even johNNY depp gets me reeling against my b(i|e)tter judgemeant to see jerry fuhkheimers picks-your-pockets-while-you-watch bit of sell-you-loid.

.usually I even vie for the villain in a dis' knee film but NOT SO in peter pan.I kept wishing for the rumours of captain hooks demise to be any thing but exagge-rated.

...all that to say:

.a plank for every pirate is brilliant.wooden wit.and you clint caught-a-lisp look like an absolute dandy in your woo-wear.

.but now I shall remove this plank of cherry tree [namely my self] from your golden eyes.

•••—
Posted by  on May 10, 2008 10:43 PM
Why cant everyone write blogs like you?

OH YEAH...BECAUSE THEY'RE not YOU, CATALYST!!!

You need a column in a magazine. This is 2 much work to go unseen by so many (no offense to uber!!! but nun of us last nite had heard of it).

---Brian, your future boyfriend (lolz...I WISH!!!!!)
Posted by Mariposa on May 08, 2008 10:58 AM
Wow congratulations!
Posted by Sarah on May 07, 2008 2:18 AM
Way to kill it in the P.burg Clint BIG MOUTH CataJagger ;)
Posted by Joanna Ban... on May 05, 2008 6:42 AM
Love that friggin hairDo -- Any Warhol style baby!
& love the use of BOLD & GIGANTIC lettering!
POPOW!
LOVE YA!
Posted by karlaynzon on May 03, 2008 9:50 PM
Clint!
i saw your pic with stevie ryan on buzznet! gah i didn't recognize you at first. haha
love teh hair. was that always like that dear?

<3
Posted by alexandria... on May 03, 2008 4:25 PM
Just one thing- you were born to write,
the way you put words together give me chills, even for a simple blog.
Oh, and loving the new style.

xoxo
Posted by lollie on May 03, 2008 2:11 AM
nothing is as sexy as the scent of a deliciously decadent new book. mmmm....
Posted by Daniel Hil... on May 02, 2008 12:17 PM
Well try and have fun in Pittsburgh...
PS I really absolutely love the new hair
Posted by  on May 02, 2008 1:18 AM
i'm sure u already know this, but ure by far the coolest thing on this site. ure an uber superstar, all rite!!! i mean, whats with the boring blonde woman on the front page? shes tryin to be all sex and the city about it, but U are the one whos invited to the hot parties. is this site new r somethin??? cos like priorities, theyre fucked up in here. no offense but i know ure kinda old but the reason we love u is cos u GET IT. i wanna be u when i grow up not some square bitch and im not even a gay man!!! u shld like just start ure own site. i dont wanna join uber but for sure i'd join it!!!!! luv u, bee<3
Posted by Paige Mise... on May 01, 2008 5:29 PM
Okay so Clint, funny story for you... So there's this place that my dad and grandma use to go eat at every friday, it was a fish fry. and there was this guy there and he look EXACTLY like Andy Warhol. It could seriously be his twin... My sister wanted to get a picture taken with him... hahaha!
Also, are you going to be keeping your hair like that? I just wonder because it looks amazing like that... It actually reminds me a tad bit of how Davey Havok's use to look, in a sense... haha!
Well I best be off now... Hope everything is going groovy there!
Talk to you later on...........
XOXOXOXO!
Posted by ERIS STARt... on May 01, 2008 3:59 PM
Looks hot, but Pittsburgh is so... grotsky. You know tose bitches at BC STILL haven't refunded my money, but they cancalled my order, like, 2 and a half weeks ago. I'm saving up for a 'ciaga Bag. The yellow motorcycle. $1278. HAY!
Posted by Tallulah on May 01, 2008 12:38 PM
<--envious! lol
//
That's rad! Almost as rad as your new hair.
//
Have a good trip sir. So happy for you, wish I could go!

xo
Posted by Tallulah on May 01, 2008 12:40 PM
I forgot that my photo is not out the the left of comments on uber. ha. That's what the arrow was for, to point at myself.
Posted by Veronika l... on May 01, 2008 11:06 AM
Just amazing!It's real!I am happy for you!

How i want to go to PITTSBURGH this Saturday to see all with my own eyes!But!Thank you for sharing Clint!The most I like this graft (pig):)

And your new hair looks awesome!

Sleep... Oh! how I loathe those little slices of death.

Posted by Andrea Apo... on May 01, 2008 9:46 AM
CLINT! im loving the new hair style. and of course, yet another perfectly crafted blog.
i loved the "a plank for every pirate" It's a brilliant peice.
anyways, you should hit the sack, you must be tired, as usual.
go to bed oyung man! you have to be on a plane in about 27 and a half hours, if the "couting-on-your-fingers was accurate
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COMMENTS
May 17, 2008 5:29 PM
Hey Clint!
I have AMAZING news I want to tell you!
Would you care if I email you are your Gmail?
I just don't want anybody else knowing it!
Let me know if you don't mind me emailing you about the AMAZING news!
Have a great weekend Clint!

XOXOX!
May 17, 2008 12:08 PM
Hey nice to hear from you I haven't been on much still nursing the eye but its gettin better.
Cori
May 17, 2008 11:29 AM
Clint you are outta control with that crazy hairDO of yours! I love it! Did you get my thankyou message... If not I will re-send it.. I sent you a picture attached to it also. ;] luv luv luv ya! TELL AUDREY THANX SO MUCH !
May 17, 2008 6:07 AM
Clint, where have you been? ;_; I miss you and your blogs.
May 16, 2008 10:51 PM
Clint, no matter how many people add you, you always have something new and fun to say.

So fresh!
May 16, 2008 3:56 PM
Clint!I am so glad that incredible Justin Coloma joined Uber!
May 16, 2008 7:27 AM
i haven't a CLUE how to set friends on this thing. hah. i started to try.. got over it and gave up. :(
rafi
May 16, 2008 9:09 PM
totally w/ u!!! only log on here to read clints shit cause its straight-up confusing... clint rulezzz
May 16, 2008 5:25 AM
Love your new pictures!!!!
=D
I am just in awe of your hair and makeup hehe!
I hope things are well with you?
sammy
May 15, 2008 5:52 PM
You should check the website now, it seems your supposed haters (including me, who admittedly made a post about you) have taken a liking to you.
May 15, 2008 4:08 PM
Screw that blog page, I'm over it. I'd rather be a smart-ass privately. =P
May 15, 2008 3:44 PM
Dear Mr. Clint Catalyst,


ERIS STARtle has asked me to inform you, that he is mad at you. He wishes to know why he has yet to hear anything from you in over a week and wishes that you could see him graduate and would love some type of word from you before then.

-Morrigan
May 15, 2008 2:57 PM
aw clint, could you maybe help me with my uber profile? >.< . i went thgouth my comments to see who has anything on. *picks u* ;)
May 16, 2008 11:36 AM
Mr. Catalyst is a total tech-tard. He can't help you. lol

Maybe I can?

xo
May 14, 2008 1:17 PM
yes.one of my favorite with label "This could change your life".actually ...it happened.//no//ye s, you adore me:)//♥
May 14, 2008 10:52 AM
:) Clint.
i got no idea what time it is there.
but here, its almost 5 pm, although, time really has no meaning unless you've got plans, which i dont. but i htink i am heading out tonight. a party of some sort. not really sure what the occasion is. I'm sure I'll find out.
anyways, just wanted to check up on you and tell you that...
I LOVE YOU DUDE!
(yes, i did actually call you dude:P
May 14, 2008 9:44 AM
Love your sense of style and never cese of being amazed by your way with words.

xo

Miss.Tph
May 14, 2008 9:27 AM
My hair is ALWAYS blonde Clint! hahaha

That was an evil comment :P But a comment after all.

I know that you dont stop, but, cant wait to know how are you.

x o x o!
May 14, 2008 1:23 AM
I tried to comment you this morning, but Uber ate it. Grrrr.//
The day after tomorrow my husband, lollie & I are going to be in Pensacola Beach. I'll get you a souvenir refrigerator magnet. Promise! I told Mr Haag that I'd get him one too. Magnets for everyone!
lol.
hearts & stuff.
-Tally
May 13, 2008 9:34 PM
Hey, Boo! How you been?
May 13, 2008 6:46 PM
Good on you for sticking up for yourself wit out getting defensive...
Master the prose...

xxx
Phlossie
May 13, 2008 5:14 PM
Hey ther!
I finally got on..haha!
How have you been.
Me, I am doing fine, I really could complain turst me...haha, A lot.
But yeah I guess that I have been doing fine, I am talking to new people, and I realized that talking to people that you do not know help you realize little things about yourself that you never thought possible.
=]
I love you!
=]
May 13, 2008 3:32 PM
heck yes i live in pittsburgh! haha.

:]
May 13, 2008 11:37 AM
I'm still such an imbecile at this- I tried to reply to you on your page and ended up talking on my own page, alas! mais voila ici:

Clare Barry
May 13, 2008 11:34 AM
But within that- maybe, if you hadn't turned around those five years of duck and cover everytime you heard/saw something click/flash then the subscriptions that your stashing up might not be coming so thick and fast?- Don't worry, I'm not saying that without the pictures that you havn't got a talent for writing- it's just there are far too many people out there who read books to look at the pictures (!)...and I don't believe in coincidences.

Not to mention, I can't remember where I read it- but it stuck with me- they say good models arn't perfectly aligned and asthetic. A good model is the person that walks into the room and has the attention of everyone in there- they're not attractive, just some sort of aura around them is fascinating. It sounds subjective but I know it's true, I've witnessed it. Ha. Which is also completely a normative statement, and you could write that off as irrelevent but never the less.

And yeah baby. Great Britain born and bread. How could you tell? Bar the cussing every other word and the use of 'git' (!)

^-.-^ xxxxx
May 13, 2008 8:45 AM
You of all people should know. heartfelt comments such as the one i sent you are all inspired by the fond feelings for the person the comment has been left for.
I didnt even have to think about a thing when i typed those words, I just had to read and let my heart take control.

Oh and yeah, I'm the eldest son in a 7 kid family, so i do very well understand what you where saying in the comment you left me.
Anyway Clint,
I don't really need to tell you this but I will anyway.
Chin up, and, mister solo critter, I'm part of and over populated pack.
we can quite easily balance eachother out.
One more thing.
Guess who is at the top of my top friends?
Thats right! It's you.
The great Double C
May 13, 2008 3:49 AM
I spoke of you in my '13 Books' blog post tonight. ;)
Anywho - Have a good week sir.
I am flippin' TIRED - off to bed now.
May 12, 2008 11:47 PM
You know, dear, everyone is entitled to their opinion. doesn't, however, make it correct, factual, etc. I dare say that someone either doesn't have the ability to deal with your talent, which is sad, or they're jealous, which is more sad. If all they have room for in their space is bitterness, let them have it.
Those of us who admire your creativity and can't wait to see what thrilling thing you'll participate in next are the ones who are lucky. Lucky to be aware of your talent and to enjoy it with you.
May 13, 2008 9:15 AM
And I'M lucky to have individuals like you in my life who exert the time and energy to be supportive. // I only wish I were able to respond to whomever it is that sent this missive... // Why does uber have guests enter their email addresses if I'm unable to click 'Reply' and uh, EMAIL THEM? // One of the great unanswered mysteries of the universe... // I mean, halt all research on terminal illnessness, like, PRONTO! // As a self-centered egotistical over-privileged American it is my God Given Right to Have It My Way Or Not Way... // Come on, tech-heads: am I right, or am I RIGHT?
May 14, 2008 8:00 PM
god, you are SO very right. lol
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